All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
We are two peas in an std pod
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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