Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
