Well apparently he's into motor boating.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
