My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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