Swine flu. Run for my life!
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
