how can u be prego again
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
