what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
