If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
