This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
