Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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