I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
