you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
