imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
