I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
