There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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