i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
