Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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