honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
my shit smells like andre
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
