There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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