why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
