I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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