Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
