Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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