Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I DEMAND FORESKIN
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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