So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
