a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
