What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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