They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
