I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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