She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
it's like heaven, but drunker
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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