You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize