Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
