writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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