haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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