I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
