its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
