Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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