How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
