It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
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