nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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