I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
