I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
