I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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