I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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