he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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