Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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