Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Randomize
