A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
