Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
