I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
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Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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