you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
You left your phone here
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