return my video game
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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