my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
