Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
