I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize