There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
