my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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